Homesick at home?
I got a parcel today from Japan. It was from a few friends who had grouped together and packed a small box up with lots of little things - not really presents as such - more like food, sweets, photos, music, memorabilia etc. They each had written me a personal letter - mainly in Japanese with a few random English words thrown in.
It made me want to cry.
I miss my life in Tokyo so much.
But I just feel like an outsider - nobody is here that I can relate to anymore. I try to talk to my sister but she just replies "Oh, yeah, but your home now. There's nowhere like home, right? You've couldnt live in Japan forever could you!?" True. I couldnt. But that dont help me now. I cant explain to her or anyone why I miss Tokyo or why I dont want to live in London. I just cant find the right words.
I hate my job here - the one I searched for high and low for months on end - , I hate my job prospects, -not that I had any in Japan either, mind! - and my best friend is going away today - her flight left 20minutes ago - to go and live in Hong Kong. She's only got a year Visa, but she's hoping to stay for a lot longer for that. Maybe forever. Another friend lost to Asia.
I saw a Private Japanese Tutor today for a trial lesson. He gave me a easy test to do - how do you say "yesterday"? etc. He said I should start my learning with him by using the 'Japanese for Busy People Book 2' book. I took a look at it. I know this stuff I thought, not being show-offy, just truthful. I told him politely. His reply was "Maybe but practise is always good. Thats what learning a language is about - practise." True, but I dont want to pay 29pounds for a book, and 15pounds an hour for a lesson with you to...REVISE. I can revise for free in my own time. I wanted a teacher to ... teach me, not help me revise. I know that theres so much still I have to learn with Japanese, its not as though I know everything and all thats left to do is revise. I dont know, I might see how it goes, might get better. I just am unsure whether its really classes I need.
As I'm rushing to work everyday, coming home, eating, watching tv, being a volunteer translator, jogging with friends, meeting friends, learning Web Design, reading books, going to the cinema, watching Japanese TV... My days are full and I enjoy it. But theres a hole in my life thats making me unhappy.
Maybe its seeing yet another friend disappear into Asia with only a random email and phone call for contact. Maybe its the package I got today. Maybe its the disappointment of my job. Maybe its I'm expecting too much from London. Maybe I'm compairing too much.
Or, maybe its just that I want to go back to Japan.
投稿者 karekora 時刻: 6:39 午前