Lately I just feel as though I'm banging my head against the wall. Working with people at Uni, both teachers and fellow students, is like getting blood out of a stone. Why am I forever having to run 10 miles before I can take a single step?
Except for one, I dont trust nor like the teachers. I dont like their teaching style, nor do I like their taste in design. Believe me, I've tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm just at my wits end. There's only so many chances a person can give. I am forever being told that I am at University to 'teach myself', the teachers are only there to support and guide. I accepted this, but I pay 3,000pounds a year, so I at least expect the teachers to turn up to classes. And when they turn up, I at least expect them to have some kind of lesson plan, not just sit around with the other teachers chatting, whilst the students do the same.
I've already developed my own design style, but the teachers want to nurture us to create radical designs that they like. I've already been nurtured, at college, at work. I'm happy with what I do. I dont want to change. I want to be a commercial Creative Artworker, not a hippie graphic designer. I know who gets the permanent jobs. On top of that, I dont appreciate the 'to be british is to be dull' comments from the lecturers.
I understand that working in groups is tough. I've always been weak at working in groups and better at working independently. But I vowed to do my best in this University thing. I was meant to meet with my group last week Monday. No one turned up. I went home. The same happened Tuesday evening, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Today, for some reason, I believed them when they said we were all meeting up. Maybe its the fact we have a presentation lurking around the corner. I was there at 10. 3 hours later people started to trickle in. I try to be patient. But I'm at my wits end with them. The only reason I waited so long is on the phone at 11am, they said they would only be another 10 minutes. 2 hours later...
They dont seem to care that we have a presentation soon and we havent actually done anything as a group yet. They seem to think they can blag it, and if not theres always the re-take in summer. I'm rubbish at talking rubbish. I have to plan the rubbish I will say before I can say it. Otherwise it just sounds like rubbish. Maybe they can blag it and pass. Maybe thats why no one can do their job in England anymore. They've all blagged Uni, blagged the interview, blagged the promotion... I dont want to retake in the summer. For one, I hate the idea of wasting my time with them again. For another, I need the holiday in Japan after this. I need some normality in my life. If I have to retake, that Japanese holiday might well have to be cancelled.
But why is it that everyone always wants to do things at the last moment? Last semester I got ridicued by other students because I was doing my work a week early. They couldnt understand why I was 'wasting' my time with that now. I like to work ahead. I like to be organised.
Are all Universities like this? Do all students feel as though they are running 10 miles in order to get to the shop around the corner? I chose this University over others as I wanted to be with down-to-earth art types, not with people with their noses in the air. Maybe I made the wrong choice. Maybe I should've changed University when I was considering it last, way back in December.
I'm not the best student in the world. I believe you have to work in order to achieve. This is going to sound really snotty, but I'm tired of the teachers and the students slowing me down.
Only 3 more weeks, huh. Then I can return to 'normality' at work. Jeez, I never thought I'd be looking forward to working fulltime again.
4 件のコメント:
Don't give up, Karen :)
I'm not sure what other universities are like, but I've had some experience of the kind of thing you're talking about, especially with group work. There are some really lazy people doing Computer Science too, they have no time management skills whatsoever and are more interested in getting pissed at the pub than doing work.
However it does get better. In the first year these kinds of layabouts were a lot more common, but then as they fail the exams to graduate, or get bored and drop out, their numbers decrease and it's more likely you get paired with semi-intelligent people for group work ;) Also some people seem to mature a bit, spending £30 every night kind of loses its appeal, it seems.
You seem to have confidence in your abilities, and you've certainly got the industry experience to know that what you can do IS good enough for jobs and you CAN work a proper job with the skills you have. So if they ask for random arty stuff that would never fly in a company, why not give it a go? You might think it's pretentious and maybe not that good but if it shuts the teachers up... You said you've done it before in college so you don't really need to try again, but if it means you get good marks...
I know I don't know all the details of your work and stuff, but maybe you could be the arty-experimental-student at uni and then flip back to the professional actually-getting-paid-worker at work?
Although, that doesn't really help with the frustration of working in a group where nobody pulls their weight.
It does sound a bit snotty to say they're slowing you down, but it kind of seems that way, eh :D
Good luck!
I agree with Ben, students usually mess around in their 1st year because #1 the 1st year results don't really count in your final year and #2 most 1st year students are away from home/parents for the 1st time, so they are letting themselves go with this new freedom - in the 2nd year, the losers drop out, and the others will get a little more serious.
Lecturers-wise, well, they are unlikely to change, so you have the option of spending another 2 years of your life with them, or you can transfer universities. Now personally, I would go with the former, transfering unis is too much hassle, unless of course you've had a run in with some bad physically or mentally damaging experiences (which I hope *touch wood* no-one will ever go through). Please remember that with anywhere you work, unless you become the boss of your own company, you do not have the final say in your work, your employer does. Just take uni as that sort of situation, and while you are at it, you will be doing things you don't usually do in commercial work, it will definitely broaden your view, and you may make new discoveries that you would not have come across in industry. I think you have made a good choice in going to uni, cos while you're learning, you have more opportunities for experimentation. If you had just carried on working in commercial companies, there is a danger of restricting your creativity because of unconsious assumptions that you know your boundaries i.e. what sells and what doesn't. Having those mental restrictions as a designer will hamper you. I sure you agree that designers have to be very open-minded.
You are a designer, and whether you agree with their tastes or not, your job is to create something that your client will like, and in this case, those lecturers are your 'clients'. Happy clients (lecturers) equals money (good marks).
Gosh Karen you do a lot of thinking, makes me seem so dense cos my thoughts tend to be a bit more simplistic, as you may have noticed from my blog (~_~)
M_x
You’re Uni sounds ?@!ARGH?@!# My course did have group work, but the majority of the mark came from the exam, so I there wasn’t so much pressure.
I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Relax and enjoy uni. You know it is just make believe. Its not the real world. You can experiment and enjoy uni, things dont have to be perfect.
...You need to get a certain grade in order to get the working visa.
...You feel the want to remain a commercial artworker and not what your course is training you to become. (...right???) But you ARE on this course. So if only as an act, be the thing that the course wants you to be, otherwise passing will become harder.
Do independent work while you are in the group. YOU make sure YOU pass. If they want to pretend the class isn’t there, then that’s their problem. Im not saying do it for them, but the time is nearly up, right? Its now or never. Dont wait around for them to fail.
Thanks for your comments, Ben, Jingle and M_x. Sorry I havent responded sooner. I feel really snotty and bitchy now for saying those things!
I’ve just got to think positive – at least the people in my group come to classes... It’s a good experience to get over for next time there is a group work module. Its just frustrating as I thought this group was not a bad choice. I'm just going to stop thinking about it and get on with things. Whatever will happen will happen.
>Ben, I have done and still do ‘arty’ things to ‘please’ the teachers in order to try and ‘hopefully’ get a few more points towards my grade. At the end of the day, all I want is to pass this module and move on til I get the degree. But I don’t want to produce these ‘arty’ things for my final design. I am using University to beef up my portfolio, and I want it to be full of designs I’m proud of. If they are full of ‘arty’ designs, it gives the wrong impression, and I wont get the jobs I’m interested in as they will think I am something else.
>Jingle, it is a hassle changing University, and I'm not really seriously considering it. Who's to say the new Uni will be better? At least I've gotten to know the teachers here and kind of know what they like. I do consider the teachers to be clients, I have to please them. But it is hard when they are anti-commercialism. As I said to Ben, at the end of the day the work I do at University will be put into my portfolio for me to get a job. If the work in that portfolio doesnt really match up to what I'm about, I'm not going to be getting the jobs I want. A few 'arty' things are OK, but not crammed packed with them. Yup... I do too much thinking sometimes... i'm going to take a chill pill and see what happens.
>M_x, I do work independently whilst in the group. But it is group work at the end of the day, and I will be marked on how well we worked as a group. If my sketchbook is full of personal ideas, then it shows I havent been working as a group.
Thanks... its good to have a moan cos then you can get over it and move on :)
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