me heads all over de place at ze mo...

OK. Last official day temping at the Print Company. Im gonna miss it, and I hope they have some more temping for me to do in the future. That was what I call a job. English teaching doesnt 'feel' like a job to me. I guess Im just not the right kind of person... Even though temping was more hours and 3 times less pay, I enjoyed it more. I dunno, me heads all o'er ze place at ze mo...

The temping work was strange though. I felt like I was getting special attention, just because Im the only gaijin there. People were eager to say 'hello! nice to meet you! my name is....." etc. They wanted to practise their english, and those who couldnt speak english wanted to learn about me in Japanese. While I was doing the same work as everyone else, just as quick or slow, just as good - maybe less good, people saluted me and told everyone how good I was at it. Maybe it just a gaijin thing - wow, the gaijin can do the same as us!! But I felt guilty for the other people doing the same as me. There was me getting all the praise, while they got ignored for doing the same thing. Even so, it was nice to be different in a good light. It was all good natured stuff.

If they offered me a full time job would I take it? It got me thinking. Id be tempted. But then the wheels are already in motion for going home. Im all settled in my brain. I dont think it can take another upset. But, then, I dont want to regret going home. Which I know I am anyway - Japan is a much nicer place to live than London, but, well, my career, childhood friends and family are in London. My life is there, even though I wish I could combine the 2. (Ok, Im repeating myself, I know, I know...!!)

My dream was to come to Japan, work as little as possible, use my savings to live on - work is just to meet people and for the experience - travel around, see the culture, meet good friends with whom will ACTUALLY keep in touch (some people dont bother - out of sight, out of mind. sad.) , live the life and let it be the norm, to learn Japanese to a level I can speak with someone normally. Seeing as Im shy and I have difficulty speaking to an English native at times, I think my Japanese is OK, considering....!

I just wish my journey had had a better beginning.

I cant say that the first people I met in Japan were the friendliest ever. I should have moved to my current living space sooner, instead of staying with 'friends'. Those friends did help me alot, but they did help pile on the stress at a time when I was already stressed and homesick. They didnt really make me feel welcome. Just a few days into my stay they picked an argument with me over my Japanese. I was trying my best.....! Im shy, give me a chance to gain my confidence in this strange land!, instead of just knocking me down.

I owe everything in my life now to my best friends in Japan. They showed me life in Japan. They showed me the culture. They showed my everyday stuff that I was just walking by on.

Im in a reflective mood. And while I am, I really enjoyed my nearly-a-year in Japan. And, when Im valid for a Working Holiday Visa again in 8 years time....

...I'll be back!

but do i really want to go?

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